


January 10th

by kromatus



Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Futaba and Goro have a chat, Gen, Mentions of Akira - Freeform, Mentions of Futaba's mom, Mentions of Goro's parents, Mentions of Sojiro, P5R Spoilers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27253597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kromatus/pseuds/kromatus
Summary: Akira calls Goro to come over to discuss the final palace and the situation they're in. What Goro didn't expect was to see a crying Futaba outside Leblanc.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Sakura Futaba
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	January 10th

It was brisk. 

Of course it was, though. It was still early January. But when Akira called, Goro came.

_This had better be good for interrupting my work._

What Goro Akechi hadn’t expected, which surprised even him due to his track record, was to find Futaba Sakura outside Leblanc, with her knees brought to her chest while she sat on the sidewalk, crying.

Goro’s face twisted and pursed. He never knew what to do with people who cried, especially so openly. But there would be no way for him to sneak by her without her noticing.

“Futaba.” Goro greeted her coldly.

“Huh?” Futaba lifted her head with a start. “Akechi?”

“Obviously.”

“What…” Futaba sniffed while wiping away her tears on her sleeve, “What are you doing here?”

“Am I forbidden from visiting?”

“No, it’s not that!” She hiccuped and held her knees tighter with a red, but dry, face. “I just wasn’t expecting you, is all.”

“Akira called me to come over. Said he wanted to discuss information about Maruki he remembered from his counseling sessions.” Goro shrugged.

“Oh. Right, Akira, of course.”

Futaba’s face fell, her brown eyes falling to the ground underneath her. Goro reached for the handle of the café, gripping it tightly before throwing his hand to his side. 

He faced the downtrodden girl with a scowl. 

“Aren’t you cold?” He questioned her in a harsh tone.

“Not really,” she shrugged, still not looking at him, “I guess I’m just numb to it now, though. Been out here a while.”

“Why?” 

Futaba gestured over her face. “Didn’t want anyone to see me cry.”

“Why not go home? Or the bathroom? Or any other option out of the cold?” Goro was growing annoyed with her. Why sit outside when there were much more comfortable options? Especially those that left her to her privacy rather than subjecting people outside over it.

“I was on my way inside when I just…” Futaba’s voice wavered.

Goro watched her intently. Her lower lip quivered, she held her knees tighter, and he could see the beginning of her shoulders shake, even under her large coat. With a sigh, Goro rolled his eyes and sat on a nearby ledge.

“What…” Futaba sniffled, wiping away another lone tear, “What are you doing? Aren’t you going inside?”

“Well, I _was_ ,” Goro waved his hand, “but it would be quite cruel of me to leave you out here crying, wouldn’t it?”

“What do you care about being cruel? Or me?” Futaba bit back, venom in her voice. 

She still didn’t trust him. Not completely.

“True. I have no need to hide my true nature anymore, not around all of you. But I also don’t need our navigator catching a cold and being unable to finish Maruki off with the rest of us. So I’ll be here until you either leave on your own to go inside, or… feel… better, I guess.”

Futaba looked up at him with a pout. Her large eyes looked him up and down, trying to size up and analyze his true intentions. Meeting her gaze with a raised brow and a pout of his own, Futaba sighed and gave in. 

She dropped her chin to rest between her knees. “So…” she muttered, “How’s your day?”

“Don’t small talk me.”

“Well what _do_ you want to talk about?”

“I don’t _want_ to talk about anything. Not with you. Unless you have any information on Maruki that could be useful.”

The two shared pointed looks.

“So you’re only here until I talk about my own problems or go inside somewhere?” Futaba interrogated the previously famous detective.

“Precisely.” Goro met her question with a smarmy smile.

“You’re a pain.”

Her words stabbed him over and over, prickling his skin from his head to his toe. “Say that again and see what happens,” he spoke cooly, glaring down at her with wide eyes.

“Geez, sorry. You need to get that stick out of your butt or you’re gonna get hurt, Ake-chump.”

Goro pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head back and forth. She was annoying, but too useful for him to leave alone outside. She wasn’t as easily replaceable as the others (besides Sumire and Akira), yet she was testing his patience the most.

They fell into silence for a moment. The hustle and bustle of the Yongen-jaya streets filled their now-empty conversation. Shop owners and sales people beckoned for every passersby to enter their stores, to try out such-and-such product. Passing conversation wafted over to them in the winter air.

“I was thinking about my mom…” Futaba was the first to break their silent stand-off. 

Goro turned his attention back to her. He didn’t look at her directly, but washed over her with his stare before settling on his own shoes.

“It was… It was really nice having her again… Even if I wasn’t really aware of what was going on.”

“Wakaba, right?” Goro asked, picking off stray pieces of dirt on his coat.

“Yeah… Wakaba Isshiki…”

“She was an excellent scientist.” Goro offered the only compliment he would. “And her research has been immeasurably important. But it also led us here.”

“It also let you murder a bunch of people.”

“Yes…” he agreed. There was no denying it. “I used her research to destroy others. All because of Shido.”

“You can’t _just_ blame Shido for your actions. He may have issued the order, but you’re the one that approached him about it and went through with them.”

“Tch…” Goro bit his tongue.

Futaba continued, “I know Maruki’s reality isn’t the truth but… I just can’t deny that it wasn’t what I’ve always wanted…”

“Your mother is dead, Futaba. She’s gone. What Maruki did to you wasn’t a mercy, it was cruel. It’s filled you with a new longing you didn’t know you needed—”

“Shut up!” Futaba screeched. She gripped the sides of her head, pulling the beanie down further, “Shut up, shut up, shut up! You don’t know _anything_ , Akechi!”

“Will you keep your voice down?” Goro hissed, looking up and down the alley, and to the Leblanc door with the open sign facing out. “Do you want Sojiro to come out here and see you like this? Or Akira?”

Hot tears seared her flesh as she sobbed again. 

_Damnit!_ Goro cursed himself, _Now she’ll never shut up._

Over and over, Futaba choked on her own sobs, staining her mittens and coat with her tears. 

“She was my _mom_ , Akechi!” She spat the words, “She was here, and she was warm, and she was just like I remembered her! Why…”

“Why what?” Goro urged her to finish, hoping she’d get over this outburst sooner than later.

“Why… Why did you and Akira wake me up..?”

Goro was stunned. “What do you mean _why_? You, like the others, were stuck in a reality that wasn’t true.”

“Pfft,” Futaba blew a raspberry, still wiping the tears away but coming down, “Stuck in a reality, he says. Did either you or Akira think that maybe we were happier for it?”

“We _just_ faced Maruki and told him we wanted to find our own happiness, or whatever, didn’t we? All of us?”

“Yeah, we did..! But… I don’t know if I really believe that… Not for me.”

Goro groaned. “What are you saying, Oracle?”

“We were all so happy… Mom was back, and she and Sojiro were so happy… _I_ was so happy. It may have been faked, but it meant I had her back again. And I was pulled from it without wanting to leave, just because everyone else wanted to.”

“Are you saying you’d rather remain in that reality than be with your friends in the truth?”

“M-maybe…”

“Tch. Typical.” Goro shrugged, “If that’s what you want, then go back to Maruki and ask him to put you back. We’ll be fine on our own. The cat can lead us well enough.”

“What?” Futaba blinked up at him.

Goro slipped off the ledge and shook his head. “I said we’ll be fine without you. Go back. Go live in the lies, stay happy. I’m sure the group will miss you, but I doubt they’ll stand in your way if it’s what you really want. And if that’s your decision, then I don’t need to stay out here anymore. It won’t be my problem if you get sick. You’ll have your mother to take care of you, won’t you? Never mind what everyone has sacrificed to be with you and to stay by your side; what Sojiro has had to do and sacrifice to take care of you. Go on, be happy. It was… Well, I won’t lie. We’ll forget about each other shortly.”

“What…” Futaba’s legs slid to the side, her knees making contact with the cold ground below. “What… Akechi!”

“What?” Goro stopped with his hand on the door handle again. A vague image of Sojiro Sakura cooking curry in the kitchen danced across the window in a distorted manner. “Can you hurry it up? I’m sure Akira is waiting for me.”

“How could you say those things?” Futaba took hold of his coat sleeve. Her brows were knitted in fury, “How could you be so _cruel_? Even now? You only exist because Akira wanted you back, and yet you’re not even _grateful_ about it?”

“Me? You call _me_ cruel, and yet you say such things back to me? My, my, I may very well be rubbing off on you.”

Futaba’s grip tightened on his coat sleeve. 

“I hate you.” 

Her words were harsh and acidic. She wanted to melt him, but she only singed the skin.

Goro’s smile grew, quite unsettlingly. He leaned forward, dropping to squat beside her. “Good,” he whispered, “Good. Hate me. Hate me like you want to hate Akira, but can’t, because despite him taking you from the best reality you could imagine, you just _can’t_ bring yourself to hate him because he’s just him; isn’t that right? He’s what you want, truly, in your heart, but you don’t want to admit it. And who could blame you? I’m sure everyone feels the same. They want to be with him, they want to fight with him, to protect what we all, collectively, hold dear: the truth.

“You can hate me all you want, Futaba Sakura, I don’t mind. After all is said and done with Maruki, I’ll disappear regardless. So hate me while you can, and hate me when I’m gone. Hate me, but _fight_. Don’t let someone else control your life. It’s the most disgusting thing anyone can do.”

“You talk like you’re exempt from this all!” She pulled him down until they were nose to nose. “You let Shido control you your whole life without realizing it! And then when you were aware of it, you did it _willingly!_ You’re a disgusting person, Akechi! And when you’re gone, no one will miss you!”

“Good!” Goro snapped back, following her lead and pressed his forehead against hers. “I don’t want to be remembered! I don’t want anything about me to be missed, or to be thought of! I want to disappear, as if I never existed, and save everyone the trouble. It’s the best for everyone, don’t you think?” The more he spoke, the more his voice tightened, and the more desperate he was to get out each word. 

Why was his chest so tight? When he thought of disappearing from everyone’s memory, why did he want to cry?

Her face softened. “Is that what you really think?” Futaba sat back, releasing his sleeve and pulled away from him. “Do you really want to be forgotten?”

Now on one knee, Goro clenched his fist tightly. “So what if I do?” His voice cracked with his words. “That’s what everyone wants, right? Everyone was okay with me _dying_ , so why not just disappear?”

“But you can’t do that!” Futaba fought, throwing her hands to her side to sit on the ground again.

“Why not?”

“No… No one wants you gone, Akechi… I was just mad.”

“I don’t really care.”

“We were all worried when the door closed on the cruise…” Futaba continued, “And when you didn’t come back…”

Goro’s face twisted before he gave up and sat on the ground across from her. “We’re taking up the doorway to Leblanc, you know.”

“Well, you are.” With a tilt of her head, Futaba patted the spot next to her. “Come sit here so you don’t block the door.”

With a grunt, Goro lifted himself and transferred his body to be next to hers, sitting with his back against the outside wall of the café.

“I’m sorry for saying those things.” Futaba shuffled her feet against the sidewalk.

“I’m not.” Goro shrugged again, crossing his arms over his chest.

“That’s fine. I don’t expect an apology from you.”

“Do you think me incapable of apologizing?”

“Sincerely? Yes.” Futaba picked up a small rock and rubbed it between her fingers, not looking to Goro at all. “But that’s okay.”

“I won’t have you looking down on me.”

“Kind of hard when I literally float above you all in my persona.”

“Don’t play technical with me.”

“Fine, fine...” Futaba tossed the rock across the street. It skipped a few times, rolling until it came to a stop against the opposing building. “Do you miss your mom?”

“Wh—” Goro’s eyes shot open. “What are you talking about? Why would you ask that?”

“Do you think if you could have, you would have gotten a reality where your mom was back, and Shido was a good father?”

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Curious.” Futaba shrugged. “You don’t talk about yourself much, not like the others, but I still wonder about you.”

“I don’t want to entertain the idea of what Maruki would do to me.”

“Did you ever wish Shido would be a proper dad?”

“This is incredibly personal and I don’t have to answer.”

“No,” Futaba exhaled, “you don’t. I just thought maybe we had something in common.”

“How is this something we have in common? Or that you want us to have in common?”

“I don’t want us to have it in common. But maybe talking about it will help.”

“I don’t want to talk about this with you, Futaba.”

“And I don’t want to talk to you at all, but you won’t leave until I do, so. Looks like we’re stuck here.”

“Just go inside, then!” Goro whined.

“Tell me what you think about Maruki’s reality for you and I will.”

He groaned again, running his gloved hand through his hair. “Fine.” 

He rests his head against the wall and looks toward the sky. “Sure. If I hadn’t died, and I existed outside of this reality, I can deduce that Maruki would give me a reality where my mother still lived, and that Shido was an upstanding man and father. It’s what I always wanted. As a child, at least. But Shido facing the consequences for his actions is all I want now.”

“Even though… you’re not really alive?”

“It’s strange to think about, isn’t it? I’m not… real. Right now, no matter how physical I am, I am still just a part of this altered reality. When it’s broken, and everything returns to normal, I’ll be gone.”

“I hope we don’t forget you…”

“I wonder whose decision that’ll be.”

The two sat in silence, once again, mulling over their current reality, and what it meant. From his side came a scraping sound, soon followed by the presence of Futaba’s head resting on his shoulder. Immediately, Goro tensed, and refused to look down to confirm she was there.

“Please don’t let it be yours, Akechi,” her voice barely above a whisper.

And while his chest tightened, while it felt like his stomach was dropping into the pit of the long-gone Mementos, something in him felt hollow. 

“Fine.”

The truth was: he didn’t want to be forgotten. He talked big, and he postulated, but he wanted to be remembered. He wanted to be someone they thought of, even if it was with hate. Because if all else, even if he failed, died, and disappeared, at least he would live on in the memories of those who opened their hearts to him.

“I will try my best to not let you all forget me.” Inch by inch, Goro let his head fall until his cheek made contact with the crown of Futaba’s head. “But it’ll be up to you all to make sure it stays that way.”

She shook under his weight. She was most likely crying again. “O-okay…” She struggled to say.

“Are you going to go inside now?”

Futaba nodded, scrambling to wipe away the tears. 

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Goro lifted himself from her, brushing away the falling snowflakes from sticking to his clothes and straightening his coat and pants. “I’m sure Akira would be pleased to see you.”

“Yeah… Maybe…”

Goro’s shoes clicked against the sidewalk as he moved past her. For the last time that day, he took hold of the door handle, the last thing separating him from the warm inside of Leblanc.

“Thanks for talking with me, Akechi…”

“It’s been a pleasure, Futaba Sakura.”


End file.
